Saturday, January 31, 2015

Bo Months One to Three

All About Bo

One Month Old
Height: 20+ inches
Weight: 8 lb 6 oz

Two Months Old
Height: 22 inches
Weight: 11 lb 2 oz

Three Months Old
Height: 24 inches
Weight: 12 lb 10 oz

As I am writing this update Bo is already 5 months old.  I simply cannot believe how fast time has gone.  Poor guy, his Mama is already guilty of 2nd child syndrome…no blog update for each month, but a combo update of the first 3 months…and 2 months late! Better late than never.  Bo's first three months were fun and challenging in all kinds of ways.  As soon as we came home from the hospital we all started to fall into our new reality.  I spent 80% of the day feeding Bo so was able to do little else.  Jake spent all his time with Papa, which was great for both of them.  For the first 2 weeks (or just under) I had to wake Bo up every 3 hours overnight to be sure he got back up to birth weight.  I'm pretty sure he would have slept for 6 hours had I let him.  He was a sleepy little guy, rarely had his eyes open at all.  He had a "quiet alert" period usually in the morning for about 20 min and then sometimes again in the afternoon, but much of his awake time he spent eating…or crying.

It took a little while for Bo and I to get breastfeeding down, just as it had with Jake.  I was pumping after every feeding and giving him that bottle.  He had a bad latch, he would barely open his mouth and my nipples were cracked and bloody.  I had forgotten that part and we spent some extra time with Doris (who I adore and helped me with Jake) to ensure we got on the right track.  My friend Jacqui who is working to become a lactation consultant also spent several hours with me trying to get him on right.  It was so hard.  For the first time ever I actually thought, what if I didn't nurse this baby? But, we stuck with it and we got it.  I  didn't want to cry every time he got on and he started gaining weight.  Win Win.  Nursing sessions still took quite a bit of time which can be tough with a 22 month old running around, but I knew he would get faster and faster.

Jake was great from the moment we brought Bo home from the hospital.  He loved him instantly and was so tickled every time Bo moved, like he wasn't sure he was real until he did.  Bo cried and Jake was so patient, it was like he didn't even hear it.  It truly felt like Bo had been with us the whole time.  Jake wouldn't be a toddler if he didn't have a few moments going through an adjustment. There were a couple pretty decent temper tantrums, but they usually would blow over quickly.  I think having the kids so close together definitely helped, as well as the fact that Jake is just a "class guy" (the words of his pediatrician.)

My recovery from the C-section was pretty much like last time.  I felt like I was sore longer and although I lost the weight pretty fast I still couldn't wear normal pants for a while because of the pressure around my incision.  I never got to stop moving, not like I got to when Jake was born which I am sure made things a little slower to heal.  My milk was quickly out of control and if I thought just a moment about feeding Bo I would let down and that got a little intense…and embarrassing.  The hardest part when we got home was not being able to pick up Jake, but we told him Mama's tummy was hurt and when it was better I could.  He seemed ok with that.  I can't believe I rocked (standing up in his room) Jake to sleep for his nap everyday until Bo was born.  I was convinced if I didn't he would never nap again.  I was wrong.

Brian went back to work after 2 weeks at home.  I was scared, but it worked out better than I thought. As much as possible I tried to keep up our regular schedule- breakfast, play, out (either errands, activity, meet friends, or just play around the neighborhood), lunch, nap, play, outside time, dinner, bath, bed…For the most part we did it, some things were a little harder or a little slower, but I stuck with it.  We had music classes starting on Bo's one month birthday.  They started at 10 am and are about a 5 minute drive away.  The first week we almost didn't make it.  The next week we walked to Starbucks and still made it on time.  Bo seemed to always get hungry at the park, which isn't the easiest place to feed a newborn.  Thank goodness for my friends Tammy and Blair, who were chasing around their toddlers and mine so that I could feed Bo in a car or on a bench.  I saw a lot of people those first few months, meeting up with friends, running into neighbors, having visitors, but I don't remember any of the conversations.  I don't remember them now and I didn't remember them 5 minutes after they happened.  I feel like I always have one ear to the adults and the other waiting for a crying baby or a little man getting into mischief.  Such is the life of parents I suppose.

We had several adventures in Bo's first couple of months.  At about 3 weeks old we went to Sunriver for the first time. Bo was still sleeping a lot and I spent most of the time feeding him on the couch.  My parents were amazing, watching Jake and playing with him all the time so I could take care of Bo.  It was fun to try to have some normalcy and spend time outside.  Bo and Jake rode in the bike trailer and we went on a few rides.  That might have been a little aggressive for me and my cesarean recovery, but I wanted that fresh air and at that time that is so tough postpartum it made me feel like we were making progress, plus I don't think Bo cried in there too much. The first night we got there I forgot to plug in Jake's night light and he hadn't had a nap.  He crashed hard and at 11:30pm he was inconsolable.  I ended up bringing him to bed with me.  So all three of us were in my room, I don't think we slept much.  Thinking about it even now seems like another lifetime.  I know at one point Jake rolled over and told me that "Bo hit me"…hahaha, yeah, I bet.

Bo started smiling just before 2 months, but really around 9 weeks it looked like a legitimate smile and really I don't count it until I get one and up to that point I think only Grandma and Mimi had.  When our pediatrician asked at the 2 month visit if he recognized me I think I said, "yes", but I felt like I was lying.  Developmentally I just don't think we were quite there yet, but I felt like we should be so I lied.  In looking back that seems a little silly too.

Before Jake was born people alway told me that babies are just little blobs at the beginning and they don't do much.  I never felt like that for a moment with Jake.  I felt like we connected right away and he had a little personality from the start.  I'm going to get very honest now, but this is the journal of our lives and I want to remember that it wasn't all puppies and candy canes and that is ok.  I didn't have that connection with Bo instantly.  Even when I think about those first few days in the hospital.  I remember being so overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness, but I didn't have that awe that comes with the first baby.  At the very beginning when we got home I almost resented all the time I had to be in a chair nursing and missing out on playing with Jake.  I resented the change to our routine. He was so little and he was so cute, but it was all so sudden and it was a change that I probably had the hardest time adjusting to.  I loved Bo at first sight, I would give anything to keep him safe and happy, but it was a different day to day process than with the first born. I don't think many Mamas admit that, and it is hard to.  You don't want to sound like you don't adore your child, because you do.  It just took a little more time.

At one month old Bo really just slept and ate.  He was good about eating everywhere and by one month old had nursed outside quite a few times.  He had gone on his first trip to Sunriver, he had gotten a lot of kisses from his big brother.  He was sleeping well overall, still sleepy for much of the day and after he got back to his birth weight he was up every 3 hours or so over night.  He went down after eating easily and I went back to bed.  We started with me nursing upstairs in our bedroom as he was in the bassinet by our bed.  That proved to be too disruptive so I started taking him downstairs to nurse and change his diaper and then bring him back up to sleep.  Sometimes I wouldn't get him quite asleep before I put him down but I could usually rock his bassinet while I laid in bed and he would get to sleep.  At about 6 weeks we moved him to his crib, after a week in Sunriver where he stayed in a different room and I realized I was ready.

At two months old Bo was beginning to coo and gave some smiles.  He really started to smile regularly over the next month.  He was getting harder to nap and didn't just drift off all the time like he had before.  He liked to be held and fussed when he was tired.  Bo didn't like the carseat or the stroller.  I did discover that he liked the Ergo and he would nap in there.  He also liked being in that upright position against my chest to be rocked to sleep. I spent a lot of time swaying with him in that position.  By two months old Bo was only getting up 2 times, sometimes 3 at night.  He was in bed around 9pm and up around 7 or a 8.  Overall I was feeling pretty well rested.  He cried a lot this month, but I think it was mostly from digestion issues, maybe gassy, and being overly tired.  It was different having a toddler around. I couldn't watch all of his drowsy signs like I had with Jake, so in many cases I was late.  As it is with a lot of babies 15 minutes can take you from tired, to overly and make them super mad about it.  At two months old I would get glimpses of Bo's personality, but he was still a newborn, an early newborn, and he was still figuring things out while I tried to figure him out.   I clearly wasn't thinking when I made Bo's two month check-up for 8:30 on a Monday morning, with Jake's two year check-up and my final postpartum to follow and then my Mom and I were driving us all to Sunriver.  We made it and did everything and somehow we made it to Sunriver.  I can't believe we thought that was going to be a good idea.  Needless to say we were both REALLY tired that night.

Bo's third month is defined by crying.  I totally could sugar coat it and come up with some other things, like coos and smiles, which we definitely got too, but when I think about that month most of what I remember was the crying.  The crying hit its peak and things were a little tough.  Brian also traveled, which never makes things easier.  When Bo turned 3 months old we hit a real turning point.  Almost exactly to the day.  Bo started smiling a lot more and crying a lot less.  The weekend before he turned 3 months was my breaking point.  He cried for most of the weekend, at least when he was awake.  I actually called the pediatrician for advice, which seems funny now, but I was so tired and felt so helpless.  It was like the next day I got a new baby and every day since then has gotten better and better.  Maybe Bo sensed it too, he knew I was doing everything I could think of to try to make him happy and he decided to go a little easier on me. :)

Sometimes you don't realize how far you have come until you look back.  Also, fortunately I don't think I realized how hard it was until I looked back.  At the time (with the exception of the one weekend where the crying hit its peak) I didn't realize how fussy he really was.  Somewhere at the beginning of Bo's third month I remember my Mom saying to me after having two girls 21 months apart.  "I think you have it a little harder than I did for a few reasons; first, having an active boy like Jake and also having a harder baby like Bo"  It was like a weight had been lifted off me…yes, he is a harder baby, he does cry a lot, and thats ok.  He is going to get through it.  We are going to get through it and it is ok for me to feel tired and helpless at times!  We never stopped doing what we do though, we still played outside all the time, we went to the park, we ran errands, we did story time, we went on walks.  We just did a lot of it with a crying baby. Jake was so patient, he would just say "Uh oh, Bo's ready for a nap."  Its actually funny to think of now.  If you watch any of the video that I took on my phone during that time period it usually has a crying baby in the background.  Our neighbors must have thought we were torturing our kids.  We made it!  We made it and we now have the sweetest, happiest little bundle in cute little Bo.

Time is going too quickly.   Did I snuggle him enough in that sleepy newborn state?  Did I just take time to smell him and study his little hands and feet?  Do I remember the sounds he made when he was sleeping those first few nights by my bed?  What about all swaddled up in the hospital, did I smile at him enough?  I'm letting go of these questions because I know I did OK.  I did what I had to do to take care of all my babies.  I did what came naturally.  Bo might be one of my little monkeys, but he is my only Baby Bo and I am his ONLY Mama and that makes it very, very special.

For the record, it took me about 2 weeks to complete this blog entry.  So I figure at that rate I'll be caught up sometime in May of 2018.  

Bo's adventures (1-3 months):

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